What do you do when you get really angry and upset?
Things happen in life and sometimes what we experience makes us really angry. As a deliberate creator of your life, you already know that it is alright to experience a variety of emotions including negative ones. What is important to know is that you can't let these strong emotions immobilize you from living your best life. In other words, you need to process, acknowledge and release these feelings to manage your vibration better.
The faster you bounce back the more resilient you are.
I know I am not a naturally resilient person. My resilience is learnt and that is why I am passionate about teaching my children and my clients this skill that will help them bounce back from whatever has upset them.
Here are the steps I follow and would recommend you try when you are feeling angry or upset at someone or something.
Breathe - The natural way in which our brain is designed causes us to react strongly rather than respond to the person or situation that has caused us to get upset and angry. When we are really angry the part of our brain that is designed to keep us safe (Amygdala) gets activated and it overrules the part of our brain ( The Cortex) that is responsible for rational thinking and judgment. Which is why breathing slowly and purposefully when we are angry is crucial in bringing control back to our frontal cortex. So next time you get angry try breathing slowly and deeply to gain back control.
Move - If you can step away from the person or situation that has caused you to get angry, then I would suggest that you go into the fresh air outside and take a walk or stroll. While you stroll keep your focus on your breath and present moment rather than analyzing or hashing out what has just occurred.
Ask yourself some thought provoking questions - When you feel you have calmed down, ask your self these questions. These specific questions will help you redirect your focus from the upsetting situation towards the path that moves you forward.
What opportunity does this situation bring to me that can help me grow? Every situation or unpleasant interaction can teach you something about yourself, your triggers and your preferences. Get to know yourself through this experience.
What is good about this situation? Merely asking this question will force you to look at what is good about this unpleasant situation. Use the power of your focus to look for the positive in that situation.
What is the worse that could happen? Sometimes asking this question helps you make peace with the unwanted outcome that you might be mulling over underneath all that anger
Finally, when you are feeling better and have managed to move up the emotional scale from anger to relatively more positive emotions ask yourself " What is good about your life inspite of this situation or interaction?" Paying attention to and even making a list of all the things that are wonderful about your life will help you see that situation from a different perspective.
I assure you that following these steps in this specific sequence will help you navigate through some tricky situations with more power and ease.
You can reach me at nikky@happydayscoaching.com for more tips and techniques to manage your vibration and point of focus. I would love to hear your thoughts and tips on how you manage your negative emotions as well.