In the last 15 years of my personal development, I have spent a lot of time and energy healing myself from my past trauma and as part of that a few years ago I decided to let my father off the hook and make peace with him.
My parents had a tough marriage and when I was in my teens my father had had it and one day he just left. He left my mum, my younger sister and me without a place to live as we were just temporarily renting and no financial support whatsoever.
My mother who had never worked in an office in a big city was forced to start working for the first time to support us and our education. It was tough, emotional and depressing.
And needless to say , it brought up a lot of emotional anger in me against my father.
Much later, when I started studying the Law of Attraction and applying the principles in my life, I started peeling all the layers of trauma big and small to fill my heart with love and gratitude.
I rewrote my past (more about rewriting the past in another post) and forgave a lot of people.
You see one of the fundamentals of The Law of Attraction is that you attract to yourself what you vibrate. In other words whatever you feel, you attract to yourself in the form of situations that make you feel more of the same.
And reflecting on my life I remembered feeling very low and sad much before my dad left us.
I know that I can't follow The Law of Attraction in some areas of my life and not apply it in others.
Moreover it felt much better to me to make peace with him after all these years.
I knew that he truly is off the hook as I attracted unknowingly to myself what I had experienced. Now thinking in this manner not only gave me peace in the present moment but made me see what my family and I had gone through from a different perspective. One in which I felt more in control, more empowered and less of a victim.
You see we ourselves activate parts of what we don't like in another person depending on what is active in our thoughts and feelings at that point.
Like have you ever experienced feeling irritated by someone only to have them in your face irritating you more and more. You could instead get deliberate about what you are feeling, re direct your focus towards what you like and ignore what's irritating you. And then that which was irritating you has to vanish from your experience, one way or the other.
Infact I reached out to my dad via phone after 21 years of having no contact with him.
I can't give you a ..... and we all lived happily ever after ending but yes, I feel peace and I am happy in my own life. And I don't feel the pain of that anger that I was holding onto for so long.
I invite you to think about your own life and the times you felt like a victim at the hands of another person. And see if you are inspired to make peace with what happened and let those people off the hook. You do not necessarily have to take any action unless inspired, to show that you have made peace with your past. Its more a shift that happens within you. And this process releases a lot of energy that can be used then to create what you want.
In no ways am I asking you to tolerate mistreatment or encourage it. Infact, part of honoring who you truly are is to let go of the past and forgive those people, who you feel wronged you.
You can use that energy instead to get clear with what you really want in life whether that is appreciation, respect or love from the people around you.
If you want to talk about your experiences and stories please reach out to me at nikky@happydayscoaching.com